"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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