I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
