He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
