How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
