your parents love me but you hate me
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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