sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
