dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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