they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
