she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
They took my balls.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
