YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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