Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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