Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I cockslap morals
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
