My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
