he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
