I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Randomize
