Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
