She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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