there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
