The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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