Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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