Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
