i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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