Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
