it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
