She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
