Umm I'm too high to move.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Randomize
