So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Are we still banned from the library?
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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