maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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