how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Randomize
