I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
