i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
