dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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