I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
