ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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