He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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