You really coming over, don't trick.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
