Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
