butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
