it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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