Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
