He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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