The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
