4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
