We're like a lot better than the average bears
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
