don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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