All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
