Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
