Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
