He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
