MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
