Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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